Maybe he's right, that I do have a mask on. A mask to hide the real emotions. Not a mask to pretend but to hide. I honestly don't know. I'm completely lost.
This week that just passed was too eh, emotions were flying everywhere. Things were building up. It was like everything was inside a bottle, and no matter how much and many people tried opening it up, i still did not give in. And its either I explode, and he picks up the shattered pieces or he gains the strength to open it up just right before it explodes. And so this week, I did. I had enough of everything that I just exploded, and he picked the pieces up.
But it is really weird how I can 'act' so jolly infront of everybody else, when really I'm already "asjdhasjkdhkasds" inside. People have mistaken it as being immature. I do tend to be immature once in awhile. & I'm sorry. I know I can't please everyone. But at the same time, I know for a fact that I was never brought to this world, to please you, or anybody else.i am stubborn. i know. But what the hell, I do have a hard time coping with my emotions. I do not like opening up, I hardly even do it. I may tell you stories, and that's it. Just stories. I can't seem to speak my emotions out loud. So everyone ends up getting the same expression of "being happy / energetic" from me.
Who I am now is probably because of losing my bestfriend. We were too dependent on each other, that when he was gone, I did not know where to go. I was lost. IHAD NO ONE,but myself to depend on. I learned to become independent. All that dramas I went through without him, made me trust a few. It did kill to know that I can't come to him for help. I expected him to be around, but he was never there.i'm sure we were on the same boat, and i am sorry for not being there.
Now, "trusting less" is what's on my mind. Being happy is what gets me through the day. I find it hard to open up. I've been fucked over way too many times to know who to trust and what not.
written on Sunday, September 28, 2008 @ 11:58 pm ✈
Maybe he's right, that I do have a mask on. A mask to hide the real emotions. Not a mask to pretend but to hide. I honestly don't know. I'm completely lost.
This week that just passed was too eh, emotions were flying everywhere. Things were building up. It was like everything was inside a bottle, and no matter how much and many people tried opening it up, i still did not give in. And its either I explode, and he picks up the shattered pieces or he gains the strength to open it up just right before it explodes. And so this week, I did. I had enough of everything that I just exploded, and he picked the pieces up.
But it is really weird how I can 'act' so jolly infront of everybody else, when really I'm already "asjdhasjkdhkasds" inside. People have mistaken it as being immature. I do tend to be immature once in awhile. & I'm sorry. I know I can't please everyone. But at the same time, I know for a fact that I was never brought to this world, to please you, or anybody else.i am stubborn. i know. But what the hell, I do have a hard time coping with my emotions. I do not like opening up, I hardly even do it. I may tell you stories, and that's it. Just stories. I can't seem to speak my emotions out loud. So everyone ends up getting the same expression of "being happy / energetic" from me.
Who I am now is probably because of losing my bestfriend. We were too dependent on each other, that when he was gone, I did not know where to go. I was lost. IHAD NO ONE,but myself to depend on. I learned to become independent. All that dramas I went through without him, made me trust a few. It did kill to know that I can't come to him for help. I expected him to be around, but he was never there.i'm sure we were on the same boat, and i am sorry for not being there.
Now, "trusting less" is what's on my mind. Being happy is what gets me through the day. I find it hard to open up. I've been fucked over way too many times to know who to trust and what not.
twentythird
: klaudinepeñas. twentythird. Dec23/10❤
i am stubborn 
11:58 pm
i am stubborn